‘The Matrix’ almost had Madonna dodging bullets with Keanu

‘The Matrix’ almost had Madonna dodging bullets with Keanu.

Madonna has done it all. She sings, dances, acts, directs, whatever. She lives by the rule that there are no rules and has no regrets. Except for maybe a small one; she turned down a role in Matrix!

“Can you believe it?” She exclaimed. “It’s like one of the best movies ever made. A small part of me regrets that one moment in my life.” He also rejected Catwoman in Batman Returns and a leading role in Choristers. “I saw you two and I’m sorry I turned down Catwoman, that was pretty fierce,” said the singer of the role that ultimately went to Michelle Pfeiffer. “Choristers? No.”

RELATED: Keanu Reeves to be inducted into Canada’s Walk of Fame this December

Ok, we can all see Virgin wearing the famous catsuit. I would probably use it at the grocery store if it was available. We can all imagine Madonna giving people hell and drinking milk from a saucer. We can all see why that casting choice was scrapped. Stripping Choristers? Once again, we would not be surprised if he was doing that at the supermarket.

But. Matrix? I can’t imagine her in any role in that movie. We could all jump into the role of Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity, but it couldn’t have been, could it? Madonna didn’t say. My guess is Oracle. He could definitely see Madonna smoking a cigar at the kitchen table handing out wisdom for life. However, Gloria Foster was a perfect fit! We couldn’t allow Breathless Mahoney to bring the sexual tension into her slippers.

 

The Joe Pantoliano cipher? Absolutely not! No matter how many great movies that man makes, and there are many, I always think about Eddie and the cruise ships and that song On the Darkside. Oh yes yes!

I was in love with Tom Berenger that year, even though we were supposed to swoon over Michael Paré, The great chill it also came out that same year. Paré didn’t have a chance. Where the hell was I? Right.

No, there was no place for a Madonna Morpheus, an Agent Madonna Smith. Don’t even speak Neo’s name. I don’t see it anywhere, except maybe in one of those battery bubbles. Anywhere else, she would have taken us out of the sci-fi world we were so hypnotically placed in. Please let me know if you see a place where she would have fit in. I would love to hear your theories.

My argument, for the record, is not that Madonna doesn’t belong in the movies. She was perfect in A league of its own like Mae. Mahoney out of breath in Dick Tracy it was perfectly executed. Her portrayal of Eva Perón in Avoid won an Oscar for Best Music. You could honestly argue that her groundbreaking music videos hinge on whether or not we love seeing her on-screen. We enjoyed all of her offerings because it was a reflection of the woman herself. But our prized sci-fi classic? A word. Wow!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here